feeling glum

maybe the lack of ambition is itself making me glum?

language learning blog was like “set ambitious goals” and I set my3000 char goal, which I’m making steady progress toward, but is a little unlikely to happen given my priorities right now. maybe do same for what actually matters. new ambition: write two paper drafts in two months. ignore that they’re not ML

what are possibilities? i only knew what ML ones were. with ES I could have worked on ML. Why didn’t I? my excuse at the time was that I had teaching and contract work, which is all true.

feeling glum about getting an internship. need to apply anyway.

maybe i just need to reframe…

the ridiculousness of academia – where my time is simultaneously worth $100+/hr as a contractor, $40/hr as a teaching assistant, and $0/hr as a PhD student (and without health insurance to boot).

https://www.physics.harvard.edu/event/monday-colloquium-xiaoxing-xi-temple-university

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVXbiJifWzE

There’s no way this is worth it salary-wise. Consider that I’d have to earn $200k for the next 5 years in order to average $100k for 10 years. (how long will the tech bubble last anyway?)

Other things to balance: staying in one place. I’ve never been good at that. The pandemic is helping oddly enough. Most years I move at least once a year…

Inspired by http://sssscomic.com/comic2.php?page=401

Putting this here so I can make the most of this pandemic time off!