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musings on fashion and identity — practical edition

as continued from http://www.orangenarwhals.com/2017/08/musings-on-fashion-and-identity-a-gallery-of-androgyny/

=== gallery / inspiration ===

https://www.pinterest.com/Kyungri800/uzzlang-board/ (“Uzzlang Board” … what is an uzzlang?)

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/470555861042581930/ (Pinterest Androgynous Fashion)

https://twitter.com/saintmachina/status/855625949429194752 (female sherlock)

rolling up of the sleeves, open collar with tshirt underneath, untucked shirt, thumb in pocket: https://images.wrangler.com/is/image/Wrangler/JLP3GWB-HERO?$585×585$

https://au.pinterest.com/pin/334040497343262017/ (1930s Hollywood Classic style masculine female dress)

http://www.itomboys.com/category/asian-tomboy

===

Eddie Izzard on fashion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_kvXeMv-2k

Break Free “A short film about gender roles, Trans, and what it is like to have an identity that deviates from the status quo.”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFjsSSDLl8w&t=4m41s

Behind the scenes of ‘Break Free’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpLLftkG_IY (you can see the makeup at 3:35 )

==================
=== my work so far ===
==================

=== clothing ===

men’s sizing is different (and much more sensible really).

i tried at first going to thrift stores. i realized quickly that this wasn’t going to work. goodwill’s isn’t sorted by size, and most thrift men’s clothes are not going to be in sizes i can wear.

I took my tape measure and measured myself.

  • inseam goes from crotch to ankle (not floor!)
    • 27” inseam / 34” waist, for pants
    • 14” neck / 30” sleeve (from center back of neck, to wrist, with arm hanging down) for collared shirt

then i went to a “real” store (H&M) and found roughly the right sizes, and tried on several size variations of the same thing.

for jeans:

  • slim fit size 28 — nope
  • relaxed skinny fit size 33 — nope — length is okay, the waist is even like a balloon around me
  • regular waist, size 29 — actually works. an inch too long, but fits me better than 95% of my actual jeans. Then again, I’ve *never* shopped for jeans on my own / by trying multiple sizes on to see what fit well, so possibly there’s women’s sizes that fit me even better… but really who wants to deal with “size 4 6  peitite” sizing crap
  • sock

for shirts:

  • size XS — seems to work reasonably well — two inches too long on the sleeves, and fitted enough that it reveals i have more hips than chest
  • you want to elongate your neck, so v cuts are better than tight collars
  • reference

measurements:

  • 77 cm inseam –  27” inseam (31” to floor)
  • 34” waist
    • hips 35”, butt 37”
  • 29” back of neck to wrist (23” from side of neck to wrist)
  • 14” around my neck
  • 9” from center base of neck to center shoulder
  • chest 29”
    • 33”  across breasts, 32” on the lower slope
  • 32” (no less than 31”) waistline (under belly button, above hips)

so, 27/34 pants, 14/30 shirt

turns out men’s (shirt?) sizes can go to the half inch, so i might want to measure again someday.

update 25 July 2018: “Jeans sizes are often given in inches, e.g. 30/32. The first number is the waist measurement and the second is the inner leg length.” — so, 29/30 (30 is shortest)

= >< =

I ended up getting:

  1. collared grey shirt (halftone color) $25
  2. collared blue shirt (solid color) $20
  3. black cargo pants (pockets are bulky and make me look more short) $35
  4. blue jeans $25

For my advisor meeting, I wore #1 and #4 together, they seemed like the best combination.

(i don’t feel like posting pictures, sorry)

I think next time, I’ll wear an undershirt (with a binder) and have the collared shirt draping (to give more of a straight line from shoulders to butt ). “button down casual” style

Oh, and I’d switch to a shorter (in the back) wig.

= > $$$ < =

The two sets of H&M clothes came out to be $100 !!!!! ;__; The cost I pay for a really impulsive decision.

(although, hopefully now that I know my sizes I can aliexpress the rest).

With 5 tshirts, 3 button-downs, and 2 pants, I’ll have 30 outfits.

[Update 30 Aug 2017: the tshirts (undershirts) can be pretty inexpensive, since

Some more ideas of costs:

=== hair ===

  • i’m keeping my actual hair long. i like the feeling of having my hair braided too much, and it invites less questions in my non-Harvard life
  • wig it is!
    • i needed this same day. boston costume wasn’t helpful, and i was going to go check out dorothy’s boutique. fortunately a friend (julia hopkins!) lent me a wig

I did two ponytails and wrapped them around my head with bobby pins and clips. i wonder if the back of my head had a weird lump. the wig seemed to hold up fine, and even stayed on through biking, although it was hard to tell without bangs in my eyes whether it had slipped up, which was nerve-wracking.

wig (for izaya cosplay, lent to me by julia hopkins)

staubli_wig

i haven’t really thought about what to do in terms of sports and exercise and martial arts. erm? i’ll figure it out later. (and showers!)

[Update 30 Aug 2017: The $10 wig I got from Amazon Prime works surprisingly well, few people seem to realize on their own that I’m wearing a wig. I keep getting compliments on my haircut.

An important thing I learned though, is that wigs are adjustable in circumference! The weird dangly things around where your ears are on the wig, are for adjusting to how big your head is. The first time I wore it, my wig kept slipping off and eventually fell off as I was biking!! But I didn’t put anything on except the wig.

The second day, I made the wig a big smaller, and got some of the thicker longer black bobby pins (so expensive, $5 for 20 at walgreens), and life is good aside from the constant anxiety that people will figure out I’m wearing a wig, and that my wig might be falling off. The pins are a little shiny, and so I always worry that they’re sticking out — it’s really hard to see the top and back of your head by yourself.

I had a braid originally, but some “athletic” hair bands with a ponytain held up by the pins and some heavier-duty hair clips have worked well.

I suspect I’m still not quite androgynous though. Alas, something to work on over the course of the year.]

=== shoes ===

Apparently men’s shoes sizes, are just women’s shoe sizes minus 1.5. So I’d be around a 6.5 mens, and I think the smallest size at H&M was 8.

i ran out of time, and even the smallest size at H&M was way too big. In the end I just went with some black (nominally women’s) flats I got from target a while ago, to serve as my comfortable business casual black shoes.

Black boots though… I want a set. (Although I still have trouble distinguishing between things I like, and things I like wearing on myself).

=== accessories ===

giant watches? i was trying to source a <$10 one, but decided I was going too hard for trying to pass as “white business casual guy” . Instead I could aim for the pretty androgynous asian boy.

=== makeup ===

i’m pleasantly surprised at how, even if it’d day-to-day and not drag king-ing, makeup isn’t obvious even if you’re looking up close. i can tell that my face is a little shinier and smoother, but if it’s blended smoothly, it’s not super obvious I have makeup on even when I have A LOT on. the following is all e.l.f. brand from target

the easiest way i found, is

  • a small “eyeshadow” brush ($1)
    • a bit of dark eyeshadow ($3)
    • a light foundation and a dark foundation (relative to my skin)
      • light foundation on the center of nose, above the cheekbones, on the lips, top side of chin,
      • dark foundation in the hollow between the eyes and nose, on sides of nose, under cheekbones, right on jawline
    • blend the heck out of it all with a makeup sponge (little triangles that are squishy). i tried a soft “foundation” brush, but the contrasts are too heavy for it
    • optionally, “set” with a transparent powder (keeps it from smearing off as much, i guess, and keeps it from being too shiny and obvious you have makeup on)

if i actually wear this on a day-to-day basis, i’ll invest in more quality makeup, since it *is* going on my skin

makeup can also be for actual guys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3HEL6O9lfs

=== breasts ===

a sports bra works great for me.

in terms of things I’ve tried: sports bandages for binding are cheap and readily available at target for $2. (everyone on the internet will tell you this is bad over the long term, but for a next-day thing it worked fine). the self-stick kind is a no-no, impossible to use. i got the elastic kind, which possibly is better than the athletic kind, but certainly not great. the analogy is, elastic means it’s like a rubber band — the more you stretch it, the harder it compresses. except here, stretching = you trying to breathe. it came with velcro hooks at either end, which worked well (I guess otherwise you get clips?)

tutorials on crossplay (“open chest crossplay“) use tape, or bandages, or cut-up leggings (i tried pantyhose, it was wholly ineffective since it was so lightweight)

binders may be the way. so, ebay / aliexpress in the future

===

I’m in part doing this, since grad school is a fun time to experiment around, that I might not get if I were in industry or being judged by my superiors later in my career. There is some excitement [2]. It makes me feel like I’m expressing a bit of the way i’ve always felt weirdward of normal society. (I sense some rainbow hair in my future).

Katie Kuffel
Katie Kuffel

[2]  since it’s a choice i’m making without much fear of negative repercussion professionally or socially, just the same social anxieties i faced when i started putting on dresses and in particular experimenting with makeup

of course, i’ve the $$$ to do so; it’s kind of funny, as questionable content’s current story arc is also about this.

Uncategorized

my public reply to Sen. David Perdue (GA)’s email

please stop saying Washington this Washington that, as if you are not a part of Washington and have a responsibility to work with other people in Washington

also please add an unsubscribe link to your emails

i know you, as a political entity, legally don’t have to abide by CAN-SPAM regulations but really, if you won’t give me an email address to reply to*, it’s just basic decency to give me a choice to unsubscribe from these one-sided propaganda blasts

*and worse, given the lack of email address, I have to resort to the contact form on your website which signed me up for this spam I can’t unsubscribe from in the first place

from: Senator David Perdue <perdue_donotreply@perdue.senate.gov>
Direct from David: Adding Value

Growing up in Middle Georgia, my father taught me to add value. He’d say, “David, don’t ever worry about the job ahead of you, just take care of the one you’ve got now.”

For me, after four decades in business, the job may have changed but the principle remains the same.

In the United States Senate, I’m committed to solving our $19 trillion national debt crisis. We cannot wait any longer.

What Washington is doing by digging us deeper into debt is not acceptable. We need a sense of urgency to focus on results.

That’s why I’m using my private sector expertise to help solve our financial problems and motivate my colleagues to make some tough decisions.

As an outsider to the political process, my perspective will always be different. With your help, I’m optimistic we can solve our debt crisis and unleash an economic boom.

God Bless,

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To the men in my life: a letter about the Orlando shootings, gun violence, Trump, and toxic masculinity

 

To the men in my life:
Can we have a conversation about the toxic masculinity of mass shooters in the United States, and about what role you, personally, want to play in challenging the harmful side of masculine gender roles?

Can you all make it a point to talk to each other about your feelings?

Can you all make it a point to talk to each other about your relationships (how your dates are going, how you’re going about it)?

Can you all make it a point to talk about being good role models, both privately (1 on 1), semi-privately (hanging out with other guys), and publicly (online by writing and talking [3], offline by giving talks and holding discussions), for other men?

To all:
Instead of talking about how mass shooters are crazy and we should improve mental health care (which should be f***g’ obvious), let’s also talk about how so many of them had a history of domestic violence in their life, how many frequented virulently misogynistic websites long before they got around to shooting people up.

Let’s talk about how the UCLA shooter, who shot his estranged wife before driving to UCLA (3 dead):

Let’s talk about how normal he was. in his note he asked for the police to feed his cat and gave his address. When the police went to his house, they also found a kill list with Hasti’s name on it.

“Hasti’s body was found dead at 1:25 a.m. Thursday, according to the Hennepin County Medical Examiner’s Office. She had multiple gunshot wounds.”

Let’s talk about the Colorado Planned Parenthood shooter and how, according to his ex-wife when filing for divorce (3 dead),
“He’d … suddenly explode in anger at home, kicking her and pulling her hair.” [1]

Let’s talk about how the Orlando shooter beat his wife, years before shooting up 100+ people at a gay nightclub’s Latin Night during Pride Mont (49 dead):
“He beat me. He would just come home and start beating me up because the laundry wasn’t finished or something like that.” [2]

Let’s talk about the UC Santa Barbara shooter (6 dead):
“I’m 22 years old and I’m still a virgin … I don’t know why you girls aren’t attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it. … I don’t know what you don’t see in me. I’m the perfect guy and yet you throw yourselves at these obnoxious men instead of me, the supreme gentleman.”

Let’s talk about the , a 48-year-old systems analyst (4 dead):
“Why do this?? To young girls? Just read below. … Result is I am learning basics by trial and error in my 40s, followed by discuragement. Too embarassed to tell anyone this, at almost 50 one is expected to just know these things. … I was reading several posts on different forums and it seems many teenage girls have sex frequently. One 16 year old does it usually three times a day with her boyfriend. So, err, after a month of that, this little hoe has had more sex than ME in my LIFE, and I am 48.”

male_entitlement_toxic_masculinity_lafitness_mass_shooter

Let’s talk about how “women are 11 times more likely to be murdered with guns in the U.S. than in other developed countries.”

Let’s talk about how, “despite impressions from media coverage, mass shootings in which at least four people were murdered with a gun are also typically acts of domestic or family violence:
an Everytown analysis of every mass shooting between 2009-15 found that 57 percent were committed by intimate partners or family.”

Let’s talk about how 90%+ of mass murderers are men.

And let’s address it, one conversation at a time, in real life.

Talk to the men in your life, and expect more of them.

====
[1] And finally, finally, can we talk about how popular Trump is, despite (or because) he sounds eerily similar to the above men:
” After a painful scalp reduction surgery to remove a bald spot, … Donald held back Ivana’s arms and began to pull out fistfuls of hair from her scalp, as if to mirror the pain he felt from his own operation. He tore off her clothes and unzipped his pants.”

[2] Trump in 1994: “And then I have days where, if I come home — and I don’t want to sound too much like a chauvinist — but when I come home and dinner’s not ready, I go through the roof.””

[3] https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=feminist

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