wow a post that isn’t about my life during the pandemic
just frustrated about ethics — because my work is practical, so the potential real world impacts are clear. the way to avoid any ethical discussions is to make my work useless (in real life). but that’s a disservice to all the organizations that have worked with me and helped provide me with data.
just the feeling that if this had been years earlier I would have the energy to carry all this forward. but feeling like i have other priorities now. too many priorities
feel old and in my circle weird to be old and not on the path to xyz life milestone. eg reading about housing market. (i guess i am taking for granted my path toward getting a phd).
meanwhile also reading about afghanistan. it just has this real vibe of how changing political winds in a country halfway around the world (the US) can have such an outsized effect. what morale, to have people who fought alongside you for so many years just focused on leaving the country. but i know nothing of the situation… just puts a reminder on how fragile peace is. i take it for granted, but is it really? just thinking about this world where i live in a country at the top
close the tab. the world keeps existing even if i do. should i pay attention? or keep grinding toward some local sense. i guess that my tax dollars go toward ground force in other countries…
and covid is also resurgent. i guess that i could see it coming pretty easily, given how the delta variant hit other countries, and that our low numbers were coming during the summer as well. miss clubbing. (at what age does it become weird for me to go clubbing? hm)
feeling moderate amounts of stress. running through interviews with a company has improved my mood. witnessed multiple people get full-time jobs in the time i’ve talked to one company about an internship. i got used to (xyz large company) taking 1-2 months just to get back with a form letter email. didn’t realize startups could move so much faster. (and large companies still).
i need to make a goals list again. goal: pass quals, buy myself an ebike. (sail to marblehead / misery island, to provincetown / whales). take.. e-theory class? get more coffees. volunteer more…?
still need to figure out how to get more actual exercise into my life. right now ebike = zero exercise. the pedals are so slow that it’s really demotivating to use them. got bike for $270, added in folding pedals $15 super nice addition. dream ish ebike is $720 incl. shipping right now.
have already thrown bike into trunk twice, the second time only possible due to folding. wow…. i’m so lazy.
access to FARCC for ipython for PANN
get larger dataset? do cleaning for research
A* search for contract
apply, apply, apply (i’ve done…2 places so far…)
holding pattern for onboarding
take labmates / friends sailing. this is stressing me out. it’s low priority. take them out spontaneously instead of trying to organize grand outing
labmates are graduating! it’s sad to not see them in person again before they leave… weird feeling
so. much. paperwork
okay, one step at a time. for instance, laundry.
feel bad to not care more about global covid situation, about trying to contribute to delta issues. also that maybe i should care more generally about research timeline, and take advantage of being student. like if i just focused i could get this over with