covid test – didn’t realize it could be so quick and painless (have had three now). once 24 hrs before flight back to us – pharmacy two blocks away, 35 euro for certificate, just cotton swab around inside edge of nose and wait 10 minutes. (rapid antigen test). once home had a day 5 test (see cdc studies on time to test) via some portable machine from google (nucleic acid amplication test – apparently same idea as pcr), same deal, results in ~25 mins. finally a true pcr test day 7, self-collect via same method, ship in (foot was still sad) free from pixel. results the next day or two. all negative. (later found out apparently CDC doesn’t recommend self-isolation/quarantine for vaccinated travelers o.o)

mask sizing — actually, for kf94 have discovered via trial and error that normal/larges are too big — unintentionally bought medium and it fit so well (was bizarre feeling at first) / so much less air escaping to fog my glasses

p.s. heated vest is amazing, use it literally every day

booster – hard to book cvs/walgreens, stupid mass vax finder website says shots available and quantity per day including next, but when go to actually book only appointments are 2 weeks out. reddit boston and found a random clinic in chinatown. was actually very serious and professionally run clinic (food and allergy clinic). friend says there’s qr codes that go to google wallet for each vial, but dr said cvs is making up their own unofficial ones. but that in any case any dr can look it up in a centralized database to confirm

i get a 2nd vax card ‘cos publix put huge hard to read print outs over my first one lol. pretty crazy i’m on third free shot, while most countries in world have barely vaxxed health professionals.

usa is depressingly vaxxed. ga is like high 50s fully vax, mass high 70s. canada is high 70s. malta was high 80s. even uk doing better than us

omicron – briefly was concerned about returning due to some fast flight bans but realized i’m a citizen so generally fine (minus australia etc.). impetus to get booster (heard dr. fauci on radio say we should). to think that we would actually be able to measure waning immunity… still relieved that protected well against severe disease. going home to see my folks and killing them sounds like a bad idea. would never dream of this kind of travel before vax… funny. airbnb host blamed illegal immigrants for spreading virus. meanwhile i’m an international traveler she’s hosting in her apartment.

all the ways grad school let me down (or i let myself down?)

• no five years of stability in income and health insurance
  (which would have been way worth the pay downgrade to me — if i wanted my life to be so unstable, i could have just done contract work…)
• no traveling and eating on other people’s dime
• no making cool robotics friends around the world
• no being excited about teaching undergrads and inspiring them about robotics and making sure none of them fall through the cracks

good things to come of the last 5 years

• i’m no longer scared of equations, and i can understand why the precision is needed. bring on the set notation
• i learned what proofs are
• i got an A in a serious grad class & finished a cool controls project, no one can take that away from me
• i published a first-author paper! for a long time felt like it’d never happen. so, professors can’t just dismiss me outright
• i got a robot arm to throw a knife
• i met and talked to so many cool people ! so many people’s doors are open to me if only i have it in me to ask
• i got to present a paper, and people told me the presentation was really good 🙂

it’s weird that now as a “senior” grad student, in grad school i almost entirely hang out with people younger than me (and way more accomplished). i remember when i felt like i was turning a new leaf and maybe there was a chance to do well for myself

and all the while i’ve yet to review any papers etc.

if i was here two years ago – before the pandemic feels like it took over 1/3 of my grad time — i would be pretty excited actually to start this field (ai for social good). now i just feel in a rush to leave… but that leads to poor work. (i’ve never felt like i’ve had the time and stability to do good work, to really show what i’m capable of — but isn’t that true for everyone). in some sense i could still aim high, i know at least one person who published just one paper in five years, it was a really good paper and went on to postdoc at a good school. but i feel so tired

things i want to do within the next 1 year:

• newport bermuda or newport halifax races — do long ocean passages & learn safety at sea. maybe an all-female BVI or Mediterranean charter
• pass my quals, graduate ! (just make something up when profs ask you how this fits into overall field, like you did for your fellowships!)
• publish two first-author papers in AI for social good
• finish at least 4 of my side projects

next 2 years

• get a nice cushy job that isn’t too stressful
• make it to six figures in nominal savings (three fund portfolio) (i estimate this should be a year of industry-competitive salary) or live abroad for 3 months
• sail across the atlantic ocean
• idk do the life thing

i was just sitting on the floor of the cave resting due to my ankle and it walked up to me and started kneading my dress. could’ve sat there and enjoyed the view for hours. pretty grateful to semi-stranger (met at conference) for totally unplanned touristing, this cat will probably be the highlight of my trip. i feel accepted and appreciated now